


Already Married

by BeccaBear93



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4036246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaBear93/pseuds/BeccaBear93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dan realizes that they are literally an old married couple, even though they aren't even together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Already Married

**Author's Note:**

> Also in which I realize that my best friend and I are also basically married and therefore become tempted to turn this into a gen friendship fic rather than the romance it was meant to be. But don't worry, the romance won out.
> 
> This is just pure, tooth-rotting fluff. Warning for swearing, as usual. Let me know if I made any mistakes, especially since 1) once again, it wasn't Brit-picked, and 2) I've seen very few of the radio shows, so I might have missed something there. Also, I'm sorry if the writing seems awkward in the first part. I suddenly realized that the first half was in first-person and the second half was in third-person, but I really didn't want to redo everything to make it make sense, so I kind of just switched the POV and nothing else. Oops.
> 
> Sorrynotsorry for the "Barbie Girl" scene lol. And the scooter scene. Are those little things just an American thing? I don't know, but if they are, let's just pretend they aren't.

"Wake up, Dan!"

"No, go away," Dan answers. Or tries to, at least. It comes out as an unintelligible groan into his pillow. Phil nudges his shoulder, and Dan rolls over and opens his eyes just enough to glare at him. "What?"

"Radio show's today," he says, grinning. "If you want to get anything done before then, you have to get up!"

"Nothing to get done," he grunts.

"Even better! We can do something fun!"

"Ugh, fine," he says, drawing it out. "You are far too awake for..." Dan rubs his eyes and looks at the clock. "10:18 in the morning."

Phil just laughs and turns to leave. "Come to the kitchen when you're ready. I've got everything ready to make pancakes."

That perks Dan up a bit. "Why didn't you say so?" he asks, but Phil is already gone. Dan clambers out of bed and throws on some clothes, then goes to meet Phil in the kitchen.

Dan thinks he might be imagining the fond look when Phil eyes his unstraightened bedhead. He can never tell anymore what's real and what's his own imagination and the fans' overanalysis getting to him. Even if it was real, though, it didn't necessarily mean anything. 'We wouldn't be very good friends if we weren't fond of each other, would we?' he rationalizes.

Dan's blasted out of his thoughts by Aqua's "Barbie Girl" blaring from the speakers. He jumps and turns to stare at Phil, who's laughing sheepishly, tongue sticking out a bit. After a moment, Dan gets over his shock and starts laughing too, and dances to the song with exaggeratedly horrible moves.

"Hiya, Barbie," Phil says in a ridiculous gruff voice, dancing back into the kitchen.

"Hi, Ken!" Dan echoes in the highest pitch he can manage, struggling to not laugh.

"Wanna go for a ride?"

"Sure, Ken!" Dan says, clasping his hands together in front of his chest and fluttering his eyelashes. They collapse into laughter again, and then turn their attention to the ingredients set out on the counter. For the rest of the song, Dan stops singing and just listens to Phil making up his own words, occasionally throwing in his sassiest Barbie impressions.

When it ends, they stare at each other for a moment, and then Phil grins. "You are the worst Barbie ever."

"Excuse you, bitch, that was perfect," Dan says, laughing and grabbing some flour to flick at him. Phil gasps and sticks his whole hand into the bowl. When Dan realises what he's planning, he runs to the other side of the counter, "Oh no, you don't!"

Phil chases him around for a minute before leaning back and smirking. Dan has just enough time to think 'uh-oh' before Phil is suddenly lunging forward, just leaning over the counter and rubbing the flour mix in his hair. Dan jumps backward, mock-pouting at him as he ruffles his hair and tries to shake it out.

"Gotcha!" Phil yells triumphantly.

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

Dan thinks, 'No, I  _really_ don't,' but what he says is, "Can we just finish these pancakes already? I'm starving!"

Phil nods and they get back to the task at hand. They move around each other and communicate without words the way only people who are together every day can, the comfortable silence only broken by the (now much calmer) music coming from his iPod.

When they're done, they sit down on the sofa with their pancakes. "What's next on our anime list?" Dan asks.

"Well... We've actually finished the ones on our list," Phil says. He seems a bit hesitant as he adds, "So I asked my followers what we should watch next. There were a few that a lot of people suggested, so I kind of just... chose one of those randomly."

"That sounds foreboding," Dan says, biting his lip. "What is it, then?" Phil does a quick search and brings up Ouran High School Host Club, and Dan laughs. "That's not as bad as it could have been. From the way you were acting, I thought maybe somebody had convinced you to watch Boku no Pico or something."

Phil side-eyes Dan as he starts the first episode. "Do I want to know?"

" _No,_ you don't," Dan answers emphatically, waving his hands in a cutting motion and laughing.

"Okay then."

* * *

"Hurry up, Dan!" Phil's already waiting for him, one foot out the door, even though he knows it will be at least another ten minutes before Dan is ready.

"Just a minute!"

"Come on, we're going to be late!" he whines.

"We're never actually late and you know it!" Dan calls back, scrutinizing the bit of fringe he just straightened in the bathroom mirror.

"But we  _could_ be!"

"Not the point, Phil," Dan says, glancing at his reflection as he appears in the doorway.

"I hate you," he sighs, pulling the puppy dog eyes. Dan is more or less immune to them by now, though.

"No you don't." He smirks, and for half a second it looks like Phil might says something. Then he closes his mouth, and Dan shoves the thought of, 'Maybe he wants to say it too' into the back of his mind.

"Just hurry up, please?

* * *

"See, I told you we were going to be late!" Phil exclaims, hurriedly ushering Dan out of the cab. He slides out, and they run for the doors.

"We still have five minutes. That's plenty of time!" Dan says, racing him up the stairs.

"No it isn't!" he tries to answer, but they're both panting as they reach the top. 'God we're out of shape,' Dan thinks ruefully.

They make it into the room with a minute to spare, and the crew just raise their eyebrows at them, a few quietly giggling, but they're used to the boys appearing like this by now. Dan has just enough time to do a fringe check in the monitor, and then they put on their headphones and smile at the camera, and they're ready to go.

* * *

There are a few people gathered around one of the computers, giggling, and Dan knows why before he even looks. As a listener's music video starts playing, everyone scrolls through the day's tweets. There are plenty of real answers to the question they asked, but in amongst those are usual comments of, "Dan, you're SO obvious" and "Heart-Eyes Howell makes a return lol." Dan glances at Phil out of the corner of his eye, determinedly  _not_ blushing, but he's completely ignoring it all as usual.

Dan takes a deep breath and points out a few tweets that they can read out. Phil nods, and the music video ends, and they move on, though Dan starts making a more conscious effort to look at Phil as little as possible.

* * *

"And you all voted for..." Dan pauses for dramatic effect. "Scooter races!" 'As expected,' he adds mentally. The other option for the day's Dan vs Phil 1) was kind of boring, and 2) didn't provide much "Phan" potential. He almost always knows what the poll results will be long before they're told.

They hurry out to the hall and their little blue scooters. If anything but their hands touch the ground they automatically lose, so they struggle to fit themselves onto the tiny squares. They're way too tall for this, but Dan sits on his knees with his feet pointed up as much as possible and laughs at the way that Phil sits with his legs curled up under his chin.

The race starts, and Dan quickly realises that he has the disadvantage here, as he was one of the few unfortunate souls who didn't have these things in PE as a child. He struggles to focus on both steering and keeping his toes off the floor, and immediately starts veering to the left. By the third lap, he's swerving a lot and knocks into Phil's scooter. He flails his hands wildly for a moment before falling over on Phil, and they both go down laughing.

A few minutes later, they're back in the booth with their headphones on. "We had to call on a judge this time," Dan says into the microphone. "We were tied, aside from one questionable round with I'm sure everybody watching online saw." He glances at their producer before continuing, "But our totally unbiased judge says that round went to Phil, because even though he hit the ground first, it was only because I pushed him. So that means that this time, the winner is..." Cue the dramatic music. "Phil! Congratulations, Phil, and I'm sorry about that, by the way."

* * *

 

They emerge from the building giggling after the show, Dan gesticulating wildly as they discuss everything that happened. "Sorry about falling on you!" he repeats, but Phil just imitates Dan's flailing and immediately collapses into laughter again.

Once they've calmed down, Phil asks, "What do you want for dinner tonight? I don't want to cook."

"Pizza?"

"Pizza it is."

They get home and Phil immediately calls the closest pizza delivery place. He orders half pepperoni and half Hawaiian, and Dan smiles to himself because of course Phil didn't have to ask.

While they eat, they watch one of the thousand singing competition shows. They both make fun of it, but they'll never admit that they actually get really into it. They argue over who should win and whether or not the judges are too harsh.

Dan thinks over the day, waking up to cook and watch TV together, laughing over stupid things together, how well they know each other, and how they bicker over things that don't matter but haven't had a real fight in years. He thinks about how it's just like every other day. And he thinks, 'We really are an old married couple.' And then he looks at Phil, who's smiling with his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, and he feels the beautiful, painful twinge in his heart that he gets far more often than is probably healthy, and he thinks, 'I am so fucking in love with this boy.'

It's not exactly a new thought, but it still feels like a fresh, bittersweet revelation every time. He physically  _aches_ to say it aloud. He doesn't even care if Phil feels the same; he just wants to tell him how amazing and important and special he is to Dan.  The only thing that stops him, day after day, is the thought that it could hurt their friendship or make Phil feel awkward, and that's the exact opposite of what he wants.

So when Phil catches him staring and raises a questioning eyebrow, Dan doesn't say, "I love you." He smiles and shakes his head, a silent, "It's nothing," and turns back to the telly, but the lump in his throat and the butterflies in his stomach remain.

* * *

It's a month later when everything collapses.

It feels like everything has gone wrong today. Dan woke up even later than usual and didn't have time to straighten his hair. He fumbled over a few of his lines on the radio show, and the fans' suggestions about him and Phil being together were even harder to ignore than usual. He couldn't get the wording right for a point he wanted to make in his new video, and there were mean comments on the last one that he shouldn't let get to him but sometimes still did. They're all such little things, but they add up. And now it's four in the morning and he can't sleep, no matter how long he lays in bed and counts sheep.

After what feels like forever, Dan gets up and leaves his room to pace in the hallway and hopefully wear himself out and get rid of all this nervous energy. He sees that the kitchen light is on, though, and wanders that way. "What are you doing up?" he asks when he sees Phil standing at the counter.

Phil jumps and turns around, hand stuffed into a cereal box. He smiles guiltily and holds the box out towards Dan. "Cereal?" he offers.

"What the hell, Phil? Is that my cereal?"

Phil just shrugs, but his expression says that he knows the answer to that question.

"Why do you always do this? You have your own, but you always have to stick your hands in mine and eat it all!" Dan can feel the anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach, and he dimly realises that he's raising his voice.

"I don't know," Phil answers quietly, and Dan knows it's true; he just has this stupid compulsion to eat Dan's cereal in the middle of the night for no reason. "Why are you getting so upset about this?"

It's a good question. No matter how much he teases him about it, Dan usually doesn't care about Phil's cereal-thieving ways. Hell, he's taken to buying extra because of it, so it doesn't even matter. But it's been a long day, and every little thing is grating on his nerves. "Because--" Suddenly, something flips in Dan's brain, and he knows he's been letting this build up way for way too long. He knows what the next words out of his mouth are going to be, and he's terrified, but he couldn't stop them if he tried.

"Because I'm in a horrible mood, because I've spent the entire day, and  _every_ fucking day for that matter, trying to keep things bottled up and pretend I don't love you!"

For a moment, Dan thinks he's going to vomit. He doesn't think Phil's said anything, because he's just standing there gaping, but he's not sure, because all he can hear is his own heart and the blood rushing in his ears.

A minute later, everything calms down. He can hear again, and he  _won't_ throw up, because it's done. Whatever happens, he's already said it, and he can't take it back now. He looks to Phil with a shrug and a quick, sad half-smile and awaits the verdict.

When Phil finally picks his jaw up off the floor, he says, "I--" and then stops. He covers his mouth, but a small, disbelieving giggle escapes. Then he crosses the room in a few quick steps, grabbing the sides of Dan's face.

Dan blinks in shock, thinking, 'He's actually going to kiss me,' but it never comes.

Phil just stands there for a minute, gaze flicking from Dan's eyes to his mouth and back again. "You're serious, aren't you?" he asks, and his voice is caught somewhere between insecurity and cautious wonder.

Dan can't help it, he laughs. "Of course I am!" And  _then_ Phil kisses him. Dan melts into it for a moment, but he feels so giddy that he has to pull away soon to laugh again. Phil leans his forehead against Dan's and grins. Dan notices that his fingers are wrapped up in Phil's shirt and grins back, wondering when that happened.

Suddenly, Phil's eyes widen, and a small, panicked, "Oh!" escapes him. "I love you, too, if that wasn't obvious." Dan's smile grows even wider, if possible, because he didn't  _need_ to hear it back, but it's certainly nice all the same.

* * *

After that, not much changes. They still watch anime together while they eat breakfast, but now they hold hands while they do. They still don't "come out" to the fans, but now they're a little less cautious about touching or what they say on the radio show or in videos. They still bicker over stupid things that don't matter, but now they make up by making out. They still order for each other, but now they do it on actual dates. Dan still feels the same physical pain in his chest every time Phil smiles, but now he doesn't have to force himself to ignore the pull that tells him to say "I love you" aloud.

 


End file.
